This life. We do what feels good. We help where we need to help. We love and we want. We are selfish at times it’s necessary, as well as times we should be anything but. We hide. We find new territory. New challenges. We avoid pains. We do what feels good.
What is it. Who is it. When are those times you see yourself at peace. Because you did what felt good. What have you given. Because it felt good. What have you asked for. Selfish or not. Because it felt good.
These are constant exchanges. Small seconds. Often invisible. Beneath the radar. Whether kind and forgiving. Or intimate and breathless. Some more grand and gilded. Ostentatious. Reward seeking. Such as it is.
We don’t cop to most of these exchanges…as selfish beings. How dare we want. Or need something to take us to that edge. Or completely over it. And forget. Make us feel cared for. We don’t admit those. Those selfish things. Nor would we give ourselves the recognition we should. For the comfort we, as those same selfish beings, are always….always providing. Somehow. Always possessing. No matter what. No matter our condition. We’re able. We don’t admit we’ve done it. Given that. Made someone feel good. It is a constant exchange. Diffusion across these synapses. And All’s Fair.
We get depleted. Worn. Disheartened. But we are all capable. As capable of love as we are of regret. Hand in hand sometimes. Worse for wear. But, at the same time, better for it. Exchange.
We feel the softening of spirit with giving. With that reverence. With admiration. So we do more. We give more of ourselves. Make no mistake, for what it yields. Because it feels good. You surrender your right to complain…
…You Give. Because you Want. You Offer. So that you might Receive. Draw your own lines. Because we all need to feel good. Somehow.
There is no purity of altruism. That’s, strangely, as dark as it is comforting. These are merely exchanges. Between selfish and giving. And All’s Fair.