Thoughts On Lost Time

Today is a day when I find I’m focused on what isn’t. Complacency has crept in. Often mistaken for happiness. I know this. And that that’s where a lot of us stay. Takes me a minute. But I know.

I despise the word Bored. I despise the word Jealous. Karma….So many. Among other negatives often carelessly thrown around. When there’s no answer in the moment.

When the moments are piling up.

When the information is coming so quick, filing itself away in colors and action. By importance. Perfunctory. Right where it needs to go. Until there’s a hitch.

And you get scared you’ve fallen behind.

Clocks are ticking everywhere and what are you doing. How are you using these minutes you’re hearing pass. Tidy them up. Catch up. Fix it. Be that. Do that. And do it now.

But, hitch after hitch…

This wasn’t in the plan. Not how things were supposed to be. This minute. This Right Now was supposed to involve something else. Someone else. This day, today, was supposed to be different. With yet a whole other plan of how the day would end. And where. With who. But what’s wrong with this plan. This day. This moment.

Not a lot. But you won’t know that until it passes.

It gets heavy. Getting caught up. Spinning. Replaying. Backing up the months, or years. No doubt wasteful and pointless. But some thoughts are beyond control. Beyond manipulation.

And you go there in complacency. You go there in happiness.

You can play in your now. In what is. No rewinding. Only a firm footing and presence. Confidence in each moment. Today is that day. Reboot. Start from the bottom. Every day. This day. Nevermind the sensory callbacks of what was, or never came to be. Today has it’s own set of messages for you. I know this.

…Takes me a minute. But I know.

Contentment can be a real joker. Keep on.

Sam

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17 thoughts on “Thoughts On Lost Time

  1. You took the words from my life again…. 🙂 You are the best!! I get it!!! Perfect words on a not so perfect day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😶 It really did feel like not so perfect a day, right? Wasn’t quite sure why but…it required some reflection for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Most of my night and earlier today I have been reflecting on life…my life. Where I am and what I want. Seems so simple…right? Trying not to cuss haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Those moments pop up. And surprise us. Usually we’re not ready. My goal is to at least be prepared emotionally when they do…because I know I’ll never have sufficient answers otherwise. Also…my page has never been a curse free zone!! 🙌

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “Today is that day. Reboot. Start from the bottom. Every day. This day. Nevermind the sensory callbacks of what was, or never came to be. Today has it’s own set of messages for you. I know this.”
    I need to frame this or something.
    Hope you’re feeling better today.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😶 Honestly, I probably should too. 😶

      I am, thank you! The side effects of the ‘power meds’ have definitely set in, but no more white hot searing tooth fire pain 😂😂😂

      Like

      1. It’s always a trade-off, isn’t it? Probably why you’re awake! 😁 but I’m glad you’re feeling better.
        Yeah, I posted the excerpt on FB. Just so I’ll remind myself.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Indeed….been every morning exactly at 3am. Very strange. Like Amityville, ha. Im *exhausted*. Alas….it’s getting there…

          😊😊😊

          Like

  4. Ugh. I go through these cycles of insomnia and always wake up at the same times when I do. Totally freaky.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is! It’s starting to spook me out considering I go to bed at all different times. Curious to see if it happens again tonight which will be six in a row….😲

      Like

      1. Now see, if I had done that 5 nights in a row, I wouldn’t be functioning today. Good luck tonight, hope it’s at least a solid 8 hours!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I’m historically okay on any amount of sleep, but when it starts being broken, or *only* broken…that’s when I crumble. Like…chain me to the radiator, completely useless. So, yes! thank you! 🤗

          Liked by 1 person

  5. Be in the now. Yes. Hard not to rewind or wish for what could have been. But that’s change, that’s life. Forge ahead, but remain stable even in the storm. Great post Sam.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right! That *is* the time. That *is* this life….every day.

      Thank you so much 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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