Love Languages of Littles


Everyone has heard about or read these books by Gary Chapman, seen the lists…either way. You’ve got some concept of meeting your loved ones where they are. I hope.
Being consumed in a relationship may make you feel these Languages are more applicable to the two of you. But, as a parent, it’s more important than you know that you learn to understand where to meet your child in their need to feel loved.

Personally, I’m a Time & Touch. I’ve joked about being comparable to a Baby Piglet when it comes down to it. But, we’re all different. Different in what we need, and what makes us feel special and loved. What puts us at ease as far as being valued. We’re only one person. So it becomes a little more difficult when it’s your job to decode your children’s needs in this matter. Especially when there are more than one of them, and they are as different as Night and Day. And you’re still only one person!

•Quality Time
•Gifts
•Physical Touch
•Encouraging Words
•Acts of Service

Any of these strike a cord with what you know about your child? What they’ve shown you? Maybe they’ve asked outright…maybe you missed it.

I shocked myself reading 5 Love Languages of Children and realizing how wrong I’d had it. Did I have any idea at all? I think so, but only on the surface. I’ll tell you this much…

…I have a 15 year old who has clearly shown a leaning towards Quality Time. Now, I’m old, and I lecture her…a lot…but she’d much rather go to dinner, just her and I, than have me hugged up on her or do her laundry for her. And she has always been that way. I always knew it. But I didn’t know it. Asking her to take a walk with me or a long drive buys me far more understanding of her and for a much longer time than telling her how great I think she is (She is!). Her second Language is definitely Gifts. Not because she asks. Not because it’s material. But she literally turns to goo when I get her something she wasn’t expecting. She’s gracious…and embarrassed and….Loved Up.

…My first grader. The one who often says her ‘love cup is overflowing today’. That one. She’s all about cuddles and hugs. Kissing hands, petting and snuggles. Whenever and wherever. When we have those times, she will just look at me (in my teary eyeballs) and say nothing. When I do have to discipline her, she is heartbroken, hiding in tears until I can convince her how much I love her and that I always do no matter what. Her second Language is Words of Encouragement. She loves to be told her artwork is aMAzing, how proud I am of her, or how helpful she is to me when she’s independent throughout the day. Child number two sufficiently Loved Up.

Different as night and day.

Listen and Watch.

Sam

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16 thoughts on “Love Languages of Littles

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    1. Agreed!!! 😭 It’s like leading the blind as they grow and we’re still trying tk figure out ourselves! It’s all very similar to the ones for adults but some of the cases and examples they presented about kids and teens were real eye openers. Like….ohhh, *that’s* what that means! Lol!!

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  1. Great read and so true children are individuals and need different things. My two girls sound very similar to yours. My youngest loved the painting I did for her birthday. My eldest said she loved it but would prefer Elizabeth Earle products for her birthday 🤷🏼‍♀️

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  2. I’m so inspired by your taking the time to speak your children’s love languages. Awesome parenting! Great reminder as well for the rest of us. I have 2 sons, different as night and day in their love languages as well, but yet both so affectionate as they know how to speak mine (I’m huggy, encouragement – not the official definitions, I know!) Do they speak your love language? I think kids are pretty smart when it comes down to that as well.

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    1. My oldest has had a tough time since her mom and I split but the last few months we’ve really started to see eye to eye once again. This has helped me a lot. Like yours, they are night and day! Right down to hair and eye color, left and right handed, lol. *COMPLETE* opposites in every way. I’m sort of a combo between the two of them since I like time and touch…oldest is big on time together, little one has an abundance of affection. So…all in all it works out pretty evenly! 🤗

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        1. They’re 10 years apart so it becomes more that they either mildly annoy each other…or don’t know the other exists! But there’s no fighting and the bickering has tapered off so it’s a win!

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  3. I find a great deal of grounding in your words. I loved reading this post – reminding me that while I am working on myself, I also need to focus more on understanding my little as well. I am a time & words, more time, but words have come as a close second after living through what I have. Now, I look to my son and realize I try a little of everything, but I shall spend extra attention to figure out more of what he truly needs. Thank you for this gentle, kind, and very heart warming reminder.

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    1. You’re welcome! And it is a matter of trying everything! The same as with ourselves we have to receive a little bit of everything to truly know 😊 Like everything it’s decoding as well as process.

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