Construction Season

Stay with me on this…It’s one of those classic commercial schticks that lives on decades later.

My best friend slash makeshift brother and his wife finally had their first child on Sunday morning. Not finally in the sense they’d been trying. Not finally in the sense that they’re no longer spring chicks or anything. But finally, in the sense that if two people on this earth should truly procreate together, it’s them. I’ve been a little overwhelmed in my blood pumper watching their lives change the last few months. Starting a new chapter for themselves, when he’s pretty much been there for all of mine. I’m not sure I could have raised my own kids without them. So it was a very joyous day. And of course they had to have a little girl just so I could feel all kinds of mixed emotions. They named her Cora, and even though that is my least favorite Downton Abbey character…at least it wasn’t Edith. But, it suits her, of course, just like any name on any baby. Once they’ve arrived.

What could possibly be wrong here?! Obviously nothing whatsoever. But, if you know me, you know I like to travel roads with tons and tons of metaphorical potholes!! 😣 There goes my babysitter!

Not really…Maybe…At least for a while. It’s summer so it won’t matter *that* much…Maybe. Like I said, mixed emotions!

My oldest is headed off to New York next week to spend most of the summer. Which means she’s going to bypass ‘Christmastown’, our summer yard party and possibly our trip up North if she stays long enough. These are the times I feel like an ATM rather than the head of the family. But…the time is coming when she will only be home a few weekends here and there, if at all, and I know she needs to live her life. Either way she was destined and determined to not be a babysitter this summer. And that’s okay.

Mama has been having her own struggles lately. For the first time in two years we’ve been having trouble seeing eye to eye. Probably because we were both forced to start over and learn to make new lives that didn’t include the other. Which is a recipe for ending up never including the other. Or considering. Or needing. In the grand scheme I suppose that is okay, too. But the kids didn’t choose to be a part of those unwritten rules or turn of events. And this is when I feel like a recipient of the Biological Matter Donors Club Award and no longer a team after so long. I don’t understand but, as is often the case, I don’t need to. Things just are the way they are. And we adapt. With or without the other person. In the new circumstances and design.

I’ve needed extra help lately with someone to watch my little one. Not a lot. And not actually extra. Just help. I’ve had to be with my dad a lot, where she can’t go, until he can come home. And now some things have shown their face with me where I will also need some scheduled help with her. It isn’t me or my time I’m worried about. It’s consistency for her. Which she’s had until this schoolyear has started to come to a close.

She told me recently she felt like our neighbors were her second parents. That she could tell them if she ever needed anything. That was such a comfort to me. They’ve started having some grown people problems lately, and I wouldn’t ask they add a fourth child to what they’re trying to work through. It’s just another pothole to navigate around.

We are all building. We are all rebuilding. We’re all growing. Changing and learning to live new lives whether it was part of our plan or not. Without someone. With someone new. New babies. Babies ready to leave home. Getting older. Struggling on unfamiliar territory. Or even the well known. Giving up control to whatever arrives. This is the changing landscape of life and time. None better or worse than the next. Just different. It just takes some time to figure out the best route around the potholes.

Sam

I’ll close out with a nonsensical yet strangely appropriate quote from Michael Scott.

Adapt. React. Readapt. Act.

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21 thoughts on “Construction Season

  1. Crazy living seem to be the norm these days. Prayers for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is the truth unfortunately! Thank you so much πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The changing landscape can be difficult to navigate. New pot holes, closed rest areas… Sometimes though, there are also new vista points with gorgeous views, or you might meet a fellow traveler when you or they stop to help. Change can be difficult, but it can also be exciting, with new discoveries just around the bend.
    You mentioned getting back involved with church. That might be a place to look for the occasional babysitter.
    Anyway, travel your road with confidence. You are strong and capable. Enjoy the journey, whatever the destination, and don’t forget to pull over once in a while and just enjoy the viewπŸ‘πŸžπŸŒ»πŸŒΎπŸŒ³πŸŒ·πŸŒŒπŸŒŸπŸŒšπŸŒžπŸŒˆβœ¨πŸ’«πŸ’ŒπŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ

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    1. Well said! It’s hard when the bumps arrive but within them are always new doors and new memories. The new normal as they say. Then you get through that, it starts to change and you want *it* back when you never thought you’d get through it to begin with…it’s all perspective and relativity and taking the time to value insight. Thank you so much πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€— So far everyone is at their level best while we work through!

      There is one family who has offered help by way of inviting her to join their activities. Which is helpful socially but never seems to coincide with a time that matches up. Also…you know, I was bumped around a lot in houses I was unfamiliar with and, I dont know, it’s still a fear I think πŸ˜”

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  3. Oh…the feels. About all of it. My assistant is full.of stories about her 5 year old and 9 year old. Those frustrations, warm fuzzies, proud moments, scary moments…..they just all come rushing back. And they still go on for me, but in many different ways. My child is gone for 2 weeks and I know I’ll get one word replies to my texts and I try not to bug her for facetime because I try to be respectful of her time with her Dad and stepfamily but I MISS HER. We are so much closer than I ever thought we’d be when she was driving me so insane at age 4. And 5. And 9. And 11. 🀣
    Thankfully, the bank branch I work at is full of young fertile females and I get LOTS of baby time. Soothes the ache a bit.

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    1. Four is rough!! 😣😣😣 I wish I could glance ahead and know what me and J will be like later on. Her sister and I have had some rocky roads and weren’t close in this way when she was in grade school, but we have our understanding now. Just in time to be the second most important man in her life, lol. They are both just so, so different. The two weeks will go by quick!! (Annoy her as much as you can)

      Hahah, I get to buy baby treasures again which I like. I was so sad when I realized those windows on certain toys, shows and activities were coming to a close for me. Cryyyyy

      Liked by 1 person

    1. 😣😣😣

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        1. Those were supposed to be distressed faces…not faces on the verge of a mental breakdown which is how theyre showing up now!

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          1. Haha! I didn’t think you were on the verge of a mental breakdown. πŸ€ͺ

            Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sure your little munchkin doesn’t feel shuffled around and that she understands (at least a little) for the change in life for right now. She will see you caring for your dad and keep that memory with her.
    Congratulations to your friends on their new baby! And I hope your summer turns out great!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sigh, I hope so. She’s already started being a little more understanding rather than seeing it as time away from her. “I think you should go..I mean that *is* your dad” lololol. Like always it’s just a matter of finding more time where there isn’t any 😣

      Thank you! I think I’m just as excited as they are πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Our ‘family’ needed a new baby nugget!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww that’s so sweet of her! There is never enough time for a lot of things haha. I’m struggling to find time for things myself and I have like nothing going on haha.

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        1. Lmaooo. Yeah thats usually how it breaks down. Im like, what am I doing over here!??

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  5. This post just fits this entire season of life.

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    1. I knooooo 😣😣😣 When you really look at everyone in your circle of aquaintance…where they are and how, everyone is at a different ‘phase’. And we dont consider that. Some grass appears to be greener, but its superficial. As it is even when it appears your grass may be greener to another. So much around every corner. Every dayπŸ˜”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am completely identifying with the ‘greener grass’ metaphor. And Ohhh, how things change in a matter of moments. Change is often a good thing, although not easy. The brighter the sun shines on that green grass, the more burnt it becomes. Then the necessary rains fall, strengthens and nourishes. We are all in different cycles of growth and development, constantly.

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        1. Constantly! I learned long ago not to assume someone is charmed. The view will always be skewed and subjective. You can’t know. We see how it affects *us*, and only what the other person shows. Which is often just the wine and roses so to speak.

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          1. Ain’t that the truth!
            β€˜We see how it affects *us*, and only what the other person shows’. There are weeds in everyone’s grass. Ugly hedges untrimmed.

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