Stay with me on this…It’s one of those classic commercial schticks that lives on decades later.
My best friend slash makeshift brother and his wife finally had their first child on Sunday morning. Not finally in the sense they’d been trying. Not finally in the sense that they’re no longer spring chicks or anything. But finally, in the sense that if two people on this earth should truly procreate together, it’s them. I’ve been a little overwhelmed in my blood pumper watching their lives change the last few months. Starting a new chapter for themselves, when he’s pretty much been there for all of mine. I’m not sure I could have raised my own kids without them. So it was a very joyous day. And of course they had to have a little girl just so I could feel all kinds of mixed emotions. They named her Cora, and even though that is my least favorite Downton Abbey character…at least it wasn’t Edith. But, it suits her, of course, just like any name on any baby. Once they’ve arrived.
What could possibly be wrong here?! Obviously nothing whatsoever. But, if you know me, you know I like to travel roads with tons and tons of metaphorical potholes!! 😣 There goes my babysitter!
Not really…Maybe…At least for a while. It’s summer so it won’t matter *that* much…Maybe. Like I said, mixed emotions!
My oldest is headed off to New York next week to spend most of the summer. Which means she’s going to bypass ‘Christmastown’, our summer yard party and possibly our trip up North if she stays long enough. These are the times I feel like an ATM rather than the head of the family. But…the time is coming when she will only be home a few weekends here and there, if at all, and I know she needs to live her life. Either way she was destined and determined to not be a babysitter this summer. And that’s okay.
Mama has been having her own struggles lately. For the first time in two years we’ve been having trouble seeing eye to eye. Probably because we were both forced to start over and learn to make new lives that didn’t include the other. Which is a recipe for ending up never including the other. Or considering. Or needing. In the grand scheme I suppose that is okay, too. But the kids didn’t choose to be a part of those unwritten rules or turn of events. And this is when I feel like a recipient of the Biological Matter Donors Club Award and no longer a team after so long. I don’t understand but, as is often the case, I don’t need to. Things just are the way they are. And we adapt. With or without the other person. In the new circumstances and design.
I’ve needed extra help lately with someone to watch my little one. Not a lot. And not actually extra. Just help. I’ve had to be with my dad a lot, where she can’t go, until he can come home. And now some things have shown their face with me where I will also need some scheduled help with her. It isn’t me or my time I’m worried about. It’s consistency for her. Which she’s had until this schoolyear has started to come to a close.
She told me recently she felt like our neighbors were her second parents. That she could tell them if she ever needed anything. That was such a comfort to me. They’ve started having some grown people problems lately, and I wouldn’t ask they add a fourth child to what they’re trying to work through. It’s just another pothole to navigate around.
We are all building. We are all rebuilding. We’re all growing. Changing and learning to live new lives whether it was part of our plan or not. Without someone. With someone new. New babies. Babies ready to leave home. Getting older. Struggling on unfamiliar territory. Or even the well known. Giving up control to whatever arrives. This is the changing landscape of life and time. None better or worse than the next. Just different. It just takes some time to figure out the best route around the potholes.
I’ll close out with a nonsensical yet strangely appropriate quote from Michael Scott.
Adapt. React. Readapt. Act.