My tools have changed. I believe. And I mark my seasons a little differently than I once did. They change so fast, and linger so very long at the same time. They stay with you colored by people and experiences. And move through shaded by transition and growth. It is a great time. With awareness I once lacked, without fears I once had, and with acceptance I still occasionally search for…it is a great time of awakening within me. These are the very tools I need to bring myself back into view.
I have long missed an accurate reflection of myself. When I looked. Validation of the internal intricasies and faults can be soothing, but self reliance stays. I have not always been able to trust myself in the act of processing. Nor in the proper translation of one chapter into the next. But my vision of myself has become clearer in these times of great change.
There are no greater truths than those in our own silence with ourselves. No greater realities than those in the chasms we’ve thrown our hearts. Those are the marks of me. Those are my seasons best spent. I can rest well pleased with my choices as well as my own continued courage to fail. In all things. I can rest well having learned my strengths and have stopped seeing them as weaknesses. And can reflect that for others. I can stay this current path taking pride in my abilities to be vulnerable. That is the clearest of visions.
Our lives are about education. The social and emotional. The physical and the creative. The academic and spiritual. Depth in true intimacy with ourselves and others. So much. Our lives are about the education of Self. To claim our space. Find our path. To help ourselves so that we may help others. One begets the other. They heal. They teach. You listen. And you grow. You come into view. Clearer yet.
I will continue to reach out as well as listen. I will continue to learn from myself and others. I will continue to sharpen my focus and Become. I will continue to soften to the world around me. I am not afraid of that.
If we do not evolve, we die. It’s a fine, fine beautiful mess. Just beautiful.