“Callin’ Love Hate”

Of everything he’s done, and I love it all, this is a simple go-to that I’ve always had around. I used to think it was just upbeat, short and sweet. But now, in my old age, under the surface I think it better illustrates the resignation to the confusion between love and the resentment that causes hate. And the casual manner in which unnecessarily complicated things are often thrown away in that confusion. The balance between ‘winning’ by indifference, and when there is no move left to make other than having to pretend you no longer care. “Love” songs, amirite!?

Sam

I don’t care
what you do at night.
I don’t care
how you get your delights.
I’m gonna leave you alone,
I’ll just let it be
I don’t love you,
And you don’t love me.

I tried to love you
for years upon years.
You refuse to take me for real.
It’s time you saw
what I want you to see.
That I’d still love you
if you’d just love me.

We made a vow
We’d always be friends
How could we know that promises end.

6 thoughts on ““Callin’ Love Hate”

  1. I heard recently that resentment means to re-send. Literally resend the same anger and frustration over and over. And OVER. and over. and over. This only serves to hurt me, not the person, place or thing I’m mad at. I’m responsible for my reaction not just 80 or 90 but 100% of the time. I screw this up a lot. It cost me my last long term sub gig for getting pissed off at a student. He had his part. Believe me. But in the end, I’m the adult and have to keep my opinions to myself. That is such a hard lesson for this control freak to learn. As I type this from the desk of another sub gig, having had a class a moment before that was obnoxious, I’m grateful this class is not. I’m grateful that I learned my lesson. And I am now, gulp, praying for the crazy kid who finally pushed me over the edge to yell at my last school. It’s keeping me from being resentful. Hard lesson to learn.

    1. Exactly, taking responsibility for my own words, thoughts and actions no matter how they figure in. Good or bad! Not just me denying having reacted poorly. That doesn’t make it so! And not putting off any blame. I’ve learned so much of resentment is actually caused by us feeling guilt about what we’ve done or allowed. If we are owning up to and accepting our mistakes or poor judgment, resentment seems strangely absent!

    1. I know! I used to think it was just a cute little song, I know better now as an old grouch!

    1. I knoooo. I forget all these things that were my life so long ago.

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