Here, in this thing called midlife, I have no regrets. I have hopes. I have wishes. Things I want to learn. Things I want to teach. But, no regrets. Every moment. Every choice. Every word…every downfall and every success has come around to show it’s purpose. Now. Every loss one day provides it’s gain, even if it takes years to make itself clear.
We will continue to circle back to our losses. Our trauma. Our mistakes. Until we are granted the insight, growth and perspective necessary to face it all boldly no longer with pain. But with fearlessness in fate and trust in the unknown. With love and in hope for the future.
My FitBit may register much lower these days. I’ve slowed way down and the gray has crept in. But, as these trajectories begin to align themselves so many years later, I have landed right where I was meant to. And I am grateful for what lies ahead on this quiet path and for the ability to help my daughter and her new family flourish to their fullest as long as I’m able. I hope one day they will know any measure of the same happiness and joy I have known in my lifetime. That’s my wish…but, no regrets. Not a one.