The ‘Littlest’ Inspiration

I am down for the count this winter. For the forseeable actually, but I’ve never cared much for speculation. In any case, there is much good that has come. My thoughts, presence, goals and emotions have peacefully aligned with one another in a humility induced realization of what my Now looks like. And feels like. I learned long ago to look there. Rather than ahead. And to live there. That way everything else is just a nice surprise.

You can prep all you like. Around the clock even. Steeling yourself for every obstacle, tragedy or joy. Replay, and preplay words and actions circularly. Plan, plan and plan. But all the prep in the world…it will never be more than speculation of what’s around the corner.

I began laying my life plan out when I graduated high school. I just knew exactly how everything would be. What I would do. Where I would be. Who and what I wanted to be. And most of it came true. None of it by luck. None by speculation. All of it by prep. Or so I believed. What on earth could go wrong. Luck is merely a last resort for the foolish.

As the pieces slide and rearrange themselves, I watch now. I do a lot of waiting. Waiting to see. Wondering. Watching this life align. Being present in what Now looks like. I still don’t speculate. Or so I believe. Because I’m wise enough now to accept that there is absolutely a needed place for luck in life. And I’m wise enough now to know that it’s also called Hope. Which is never a fool’s errand. Wise enough now to know that hope has always been a part of “the plan”. Whether I believed it or not.

Call it what you will, you will simply never know what’s around the next corner. At times it will be more pain than you ever knew you could bear…Take heart, everything else is just a nice surprise.

Be well, friends
Sam

Ann Arbor, MI Dec 10, 2019

17 thoughts on “The ‘Littlest’ Inspiration

  1. It can be so hard to adapt to the changes life brings when you are a “planner” and are used to orchestrating the events of your life and setting things in motion and doing your best to make life conform to your expectations.

    I think I’m learning that contentment is equal parts leaning into that part of my personality that wants to plan and control things and reach goals, while also learning to appreciate life in the moment I’m in and enjoying the actual process of getting to the next destination. I’m so much better with “now” and not obsessing over “later”.

    1. I felt renewed back when I turned 40 because I feel like only then did I start advocating for my own emotional peace. So much of that meant acceptance of what is and contentment with what isn’t…and that I would continue to live through whatever came….Prozac helps too 😂😂😂

        1. 😂😂😂 yaaasss….just roll out the pallets! Lmaoo

      1. This ^^^^^. So so true. I was lit’rally JUST thinking last night about how much more content I am as I move ever closer toward my 40s and I have very good friends that claim their 40s is where it’s AT!

  2. My life sometimes resembles a messed up rubik’s cube. No matter how much planning I do, the colors just don’t align. But that’s okay!

    1. Right! It is totally okay! People these days are so hung up on perfection and quote unquote failure that we forget to see all the *right* that we are actually immersed in among the trials!

      1. That is why I ditched most social media. It rarely shows the ‘less than perfect’ side of life!

        1. Blech…that ain’t no lie! I keep no social media but this and my bazillion school apps through my work and my kids schools. That’s PLENTY!! Not to mention all based in reality and a simple concrete information exchange!

  3. Another word for Hope is Faith. Faith in your strength and ability to handle whatever comes your way. Faith in the love you have all around you (even when the monsters scream “I hate you!). Faith that no matter how much pain you’re in, it eventually eases and joy replaces it.
    Enjoy your Now. It’s a beautiful place to be.❤

    1. Thank you, friend! Resilience and patience are a mantra, though sometimes a failed one, for me to try to live in. When I focus just on adjustments within each day, it’s easy to be at peace 🤗

  4. I live on hope with plenty of preparation done as well. But sometimes things just don’t work out as we plan. Certainly I’ve learned that the hard way. Be well Sam.

    1. I have always always been a planner…I’m convinced at this stage that was coupled with work to accomplish what I’d like to, I can’t do or change what I can’t do or change…now I get to rest. Which I feel like I’ve never but never done proper before now. 🤗🤗🤗

      1. And rest you shall…enjoy it Sam! Big hugs to you! ♥

  5. If I’ve learned one thing since becoming sick it’s that I didn’t know who my friends were, I didn’t know the bottom could drop out of my life so drastically, and I didn’t know my body would not only fail but continue to worsen to this degree. I just didn’t know what I didn’t know. Now I live in the moment and try to appreciate all the goodness because time goes so quickly and in the end I want to have cherished the good rather than focused on all that I lost along the way. Adulting is hard. But, as I told my adult son a few days ago, at least as an adult you can eat ice cream whenever you want. 😁

    1. You absolutely show that you appreciate and cherish the goodness even when you’re hurting or struggling 😶 I think we can make our cons outweigh our pros if we allow ourselves that leeway in our weaker times. But it’s just as easy to make our positives column amazing with a little acceptance and soul peace!

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