I am down for the count this winter. For the forseeable actually, but I’ve never cared much for speculation. In any case, there is much good that has come. My thoughts, presence, goals and emotions have peacefully aligned with one another in a humility induced realization of what my Now looks like. And feels like. I learned long ago to look there. Rather than ahead. And to live there. That way everything else is just a nice surprise.
You can prep all you like. Around the clock even. Steeling yourself for every obstacle, tragedy or joy. Replay, and preplay words and actions circularly. Plan, plan and plan. But all the prep in the world…it will never be more than speculation of what’s around the corner.
I began laying my life plan out when I graduated high school. I just knew exactly how everything would be. What I would do. Where I would be. Who and what I wanted to be. And most of it came true. None of it by luck. None by speculation. All of it by prep. Or so I believed. What on earth could go wrong. Luck is merely a last resort for the foolish.
As the pieces slide and rearrange themselves, I watch now. I do a lot of waiting. Waiting to see. Wondering. Watching this life align. Being present in what Now looks like. I still don’t speculate. Or so I believe. Because I’m wise enough now to accept that there is absolutely a needed place for luck in life. And I’m wise enough now to know that it’s also called Hope. Which is never a fool’s errand. Wise enough now to know that hope has always been a part of “the plan”. Whether I believed it or not.
Call it what you will, you will simply never know what’s around the next corner. At times it will be more pain than you ever knew you could bear…Take heart, everything else is just a nice surprise.
Be well, friends