Finding Purpose in Pain

Trauma builds us. It does not destroy. It need not weaken. I refuse to believe we are meant to be broken by forces that, at once, collide so harshly with our bodies or souls. Things that, otherwise, we can not touch. There is no fortitude created on a path widened and cleared for us. There is no resilience learned by seeking out and successfully gathering only the shiny. No lesson solidified in gaining only what we want, without ever pulling back a hand bitten. No furthered understanding of self without experiencing failure. Grief. Or loss.

Pain is for us. It is not so that we may now claim to be smarter and more aware of the world around us. Or the people in it. You will be lost in knowing or understanding the intention, actions or happenings of an entire earth full of complex beings based on anything you could ever experience in your allotted time. A million lifetimes could never teach such a scope of ‘intelligence’. Pain is for us. It is not so that we become more wary or to give us license to urge others to be. Pain is not there to create false awareness of others, or so that we may now say that we finally know better. Or that we should have. Pain is not there to deflect our own mistakes. It is not there so, in unexpected outcomes, we can wonder aloud ‘why we even try’. It is not there to make us defeatists. Or nihilists. Or keep us down. These are merely superficial cast offs of pain that ignore it’s purpose entirely. They are easy.

Pain is not there to harden us. It is for us. It is there for growth. It is there to teach us awareness of self and adaptation. Our limits. How to bend. How to make the best from bad. How to cope. How to make amends. How to one day reintroduce ourselves as new and improved people. Not as the burdened and jaded we may have once been. It is for us. Not so that we may know how to fend off the world around us in prevention and fear. But so that we may learn how to recieve and process our world and interactions as rebuilt, hopeful, healthy people each time. Regardless of obstacle or defeat. Or pain. Whether future, past or present.

The beauty of life is nothing, if not relative. Trauma. Pain. Grief. And loss alike. They are all for us…so that we may know us. Grow us. Learn ourselves. Ask and offer better of ourselves. So that we may evolve emotionally, and for the better. Seeing that beauty with clear eyes and an unburdened heart. Relative. In a new light. That is the very purpose. Nothing else.

Be well, friends

17 thoughts on “Finding Purpose in Pain

  1. I could not agree more, Sam! I fully believe that you have to grow through what you go through. It’s hard in the moment but so worth it afterwards.

    1. Absolutely. Otherwise these experiences are all in vain. It’s unacceptable.

  2. Aw, tears ( good ones)! This was such a needed message. Our pain is heavy but it brings us to that state where we are able to grow and evolve in ways we couldn’t otherwise. Thank you for your insightful words! 🙏🏻

    1. Oh, I’m so glad 🤗 I will remain a true believer that strength and resilience are only genuinely reflected in how you choose to weather and learn from traumas, both great and small. Anything else is just rote. You’re welcome, of course!

  3. Very well put! “Growing Pains” aren’t just physical. We have to stretch ourselves out emotionally and spiritually too.
    I’m so happy to have ‘met’ you along the road. 🌻💪💌

    1. There is an immeasurable amount of work to still do looooong after the physical growing pains pass 😣. Yay! I’m happy to have ‘met’ you too!!

  4. So very true. Thank you for writing.

  5. Yes, yes and yes Sam…even though the pain feels horrible in the moment…it is for us!

  6. Pain is so much like resistance training. You have to resist the urge to deflect it onto others, to let it make you bitter, to give up.

    I love this post and it’s truthful, beautiful message.

  7. Yes,yes,yes,yes and did I say YES!?love it!

  8. This is so true and you stated it so eloquently. I forget the lesson sometimes because I’m dealing with my emotions. Thank you for the reminder. 🙂

    1. Thank you, Lisa! Exactly…much like any process, it can only happen in time when we’re ready to see and accept 😔

  9. I hope you don’t mind if I reblog this on my blog. 🙂 I think it is a great message, and timely around the holidays. 🙂

  10. Reblogged this on and commented:
    This is a post from a fellow blogger and there’s a great message here. I thought I’d share it with all of you. Enjoy!

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