“The Days are Long But the Years are Short”

This little future gentleman is the only reason I am still standing today. I missed almost the entire first month of his life. And one day he will know about it. But he will never remember it.

I can’t know what his memories of me will be as he grows. If he’ll have any. Or if they will all eventually be lost to photos. Stories. Things. But I’m thankful for any and every chance to make up for that lost time. Because I owe him everything.

He saved me. There has never been a doubt in my mind. Through haze and physical pain. Through hopelessness and dependence and fear. Through many tears, change and loss of much of who I am. He saved me.

One day he may know about all of it. He won’t remember. But he will know. Because I want him to. So he will always know how strong he is. So he will always know how important his life truly is.

Just in case he ever forgets.

Happy Birthday, Bud

Be well, Friends
Sam

29 thoughts on ““The Days are Long But the Years are Short”

  1. Surely you are keeping a journal or writing letters to be read later.

      1. That’s a tremendous gift.

  2. He’s so cute

  3. πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™

  4. ❀ what a wonderful Gizmo you are and how blessed you are to have one another.

    I can’t get over how much he looks like you. I know you are making each day count and those things leave lasting, lifetime impressions on the one we share them with – regardless of age.

    1. I am an awesome Gizmo πŸ˜‚! He is another perfect reason to consider retiring early and just enjoying life with him. There seems so many signs right now πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’

      He’s definitely carrying on fair and pasty with the eyebrows which all run in the family. And he has a big ‘ol round apple head just like his mom did! Skreeee!😍😭😍

  5. That little man is adorable! It would be nearly impossible to resist the desire to be around to cuddle all that cuteness and to see it grow and mature. So glad he is part of your foundation!

    1. Thanks, TJ! Sadly, he’s really hard to catch and would rather be knocking over plants or climbing shelves than be snoogled 😭😭😭 LOL

      1. Typical! We just want to love on them. They just want to run away! πŸ˜€

        1. I had one like that (still is!) And one who still wants to live in my shirt at almost 9!! So different 😣

          1. I’m a hugger to those I’m really close with (so NOT with anyone else, though), but none of my kids are very touchy/feely. My son (18) as deemed hugs as only belonging to someone you are romantic with and very intimate, so I don’t get them at all anymore.

  6. He favors you. So he can never forget you.

    1. It’s funny cause my daughter (babe-o’s mama) looks so much like my dad when he was young. And my youngest looks a lot like my mom! Me and my brother looked dead ringers for my grampa’s branch of the family! We are all skipping generations!

  7. I’m so very glad he was there to hold you in place when your grip was weakening. Love is SO powerful, and your love for him is helping him grow and thrive.
    May the short years be blessed and may there be many, many, MANY of them!πŸ€—πŸ₯°πŸ’Œ

    1. Cryyyy! 😭😭 Thank you, Ang!

  8. He is such a blessing. Happy birthday to the little cutie!

    1. Thank you, Robyn! He knocked out hours ago with all the excitement!

  9. You will be as much a treasure to him as he is to you. Do you journal to him? I started that years ago when my first son was born and was more faithful to his journals than his three younger brothers, but I managed something for all. About the time he turned 21 he was working as a Montessori teacher and I sent him the first notebook. He was enthralled with my thoughts and feeling about him at that time not only because he was a baby but also because I was the same age as him at that time when he was born. Words are like jewels to thise we love, especially when time and experience has passed. PS he looks so like you! πŸ€—

    1. Aww that’s so lovely and perfect! I just love full circle moments like that in life. I’ve been keeping a few hardback journals for him. I’m a tad torn because I remember being uncomfortable as a 20 something when my mom gave me her old journals. Then she took them back when I didn’t dive in right away (this was pretty typical for the guilt factor, sigh). But..I think it was also at a time where I realizing how truly sad she’d been most of her life so I think I was afraid to read. I’ve gotten rid of anything in that vein of mine so no one happens to come across it later. And I’ve tried to make anything I leave funny or at least quasi poignant without any sadness! Whoah, that was a tangent but, yes. He will be left a few!

      1. I can relate, Sam. While my friends were enjoying their teen years acting out and cutting up, I was nursing my Mom through emotionally driven illness until she finally gave in and gave up. I sat with her most afternoons, listening to her stories and feeling her sorrow. She, in turn, listened to my tales of woe with boyfriends and friends and school challenges like many Moms would not have done. It was heartbreaking and took years to move beyond many aspects of the unfolding. I never lie when people ask what she died of but I honor the shared times I was able to have with her. Her young life was bitterly sad, one of three children of alcoholic parents that shuffled her among relatives who treated her like a real life Cinderella. But she was a Christian woman with a heart large enough to envelop the whole world and we had some great years before she began breaking down. It’s good not to elaborate on the negative things but don’t eliminate them altogether. There is value in knowledge. πŸ€—πŸ€—

        1. Aw, yes…all of it 😒😒😒 Thank you for sharing this with me. That’s something I have learned (or am trying to) in this midlife. How to temper these family stories with compassion rather than a black cloud or secrecy. The generation before me here pushed things under and away. When it all comes out, it’s usually too much to bear and at the wrong time. I am a very private person but I think, going forward to the next generations, it’s important for them to understand who everyone in their immediate family is and what they came from. There was so much I didn’t know about mine. And it left me to deal later in life far too heavily.

          1. We are all evolving in our cocoons to emerge magnificent, Sam. It’s your legacy that will reflect the best of you. πŸ’•

  10. Yes. Soak it all up!!! Oh the cuteness in that little face just makes me squeal!

  11. Awww Sam!! Such a touching post and I know your little mini-me will know all about it when the time is right just making your bond stronger! I am glad you made it through that hard time and can’t wait to hear more stories and see more pictures of the cute little man! πŸ₯°πŸ’›πŸ’›

    1. Thank you, T! This is such a great age for a little one because everything is literally so fun to him. Or at the very least entertaining. They just want you there to play on and it’s been a great day, lol.

      1. Awww enjoy every moment of it!!

  12. He’s adorable Sam! God bless….

    1. Thank you, Janie πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

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