‘Did I Stumble Into Some Bad Lighting?!’

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Take a Second

When someone reaches out to you, do you know what it sounds like. Do you know what that looks like. What it feels like. What to do…do you do anything. Does it matter.

There are some who don’t speak for the sake of reaping compliments, or forming attachments by handing them out. Ego padding. Simply making their opinions known.

Some speak for commonality. Solidarity. Support. And understanding. Maybe a little hope. Maybe the relief of letting go of a burden. Maybe acknowledgment of being human. Having a voice. Finding someone like themselves. Maybe they speak in order to help others.

Taking the ‘risk’ of sharing is not required to be terrifying in order for it to be valuable. Or meaningful. Or real. But, for me you can be damn sure it’s guaranteed that risk is terrifying.

The risk you’ll be a bore. Or judged. The risk you’ll be assigned no value, good or bad. Dismissed as an outsider. The lure of the Inner Circle never quite leaves us, right. The risk you’ll be mistaken. That you’ll anger someone. Or be forgotten. Spinning.

Have things gotten so superficial between humans. Do we really not want to know each other. Or feel each other. Is it indifference. Have that many bonds been toxic. Or is that simply what we want. Because it’s easy. Tell me I’m fantastic. I’ll tell you you’re fantastic. And now we’re stuck like glue. Fragile and cheap, at best.

We have all had moments when we wanted to mass shout Help me! Anyone…just help me. See me. Somebody. Maybe we did, and no one heard. Maybe you were seen, and no one said a word. Maybe you saw it happening to someone else, and said nothing.

We just watch each other fucking struggle?….and figuratively keep scrolling. But that’s the condition. 

Reach. Out. Listen.

Exchange comes cheap these days. But connection does not.

Communication is not a throwaway. When someone speaks to you, they’re giving you space in their life. For a reason. For that moment. It may be for friendship. For knowledge or support. Caring. Unity. Pain and fear. Or just a healing laugh. Either to give or receive. And it matters. All of it matters. 

Sam

Spaces

It’s okay. To tell someone. Don’t go. It’s okay. To breathe. To whisper. To say Yes. To need. That gentleness. To want that comfort. It’s fair. And it’s okay.

It’s okay. To say. Stay with me. Now. Just stay. To agree. And be together. And be okay. Together. For a while. Quiet. 

To say. Don’t leave. Be here with me…Now. To let your hearts beat for a time without thinking why. Or what next. It’s okay. To ask. To wait for the answer.

For just a little while. Don’t leave. Not yet.

Sam

Thoughts On Lost Time

Today is a day when I find I’m focused on what isn’t. Complacency has crept in. Often mistaken for happiness. I know this. And that that’s where a lot of us stay. Takes me a minute. But I know.

I despise the word Bored. I despise the word Jealous. Karma….So many. Among other negatives often carelessly thrown around. When there’s no answer in the moment.

When the moments are piling up.

When the information is coming so quick, filing itself away in colors and action. By importance. Perfunctory. Right where it needs to go. Until there’s a hitch.

And you get scared you’ve fallen behind.

Clocks are ticking everywhere and what are you doing. How are you using these minutes you’re hearing pass. Tidy them up. Catch up. Fix it. Be that. Do that. And do it now.

But, hitch after hitch…

This wasn’t in the plan. Not how things were supposed to be. This minute. This Right Now was supposed to involve something else. Someone else. This day, today, was supposed to be different. With yet a whole other plan of how the day would end. And where. With who. But what’s wrong with this plan. This day. This moment.

Not a lot. But you won’t know that until it passes.

It gets heavy. Getting caught up. Spinning. Replaying. Backing up the months, or years. No doubt wasteful and pointless. But some thoughts are beyond control. Beyond manipulation.

And you go there in complacency. You go there in happiness.

You can play in your now. In what is. No rewinding. Only a firm footing and presence. Confidence in each moment. Today is that day. Reboot. Start from the bottom. Every day. This day. Nevermind the sensory callbacks of what was, or never came to be. Today has it’s own set of messages for you. I know this.

…Takes me a minute. But I know.

Contentment can be a real joker. Keep on.

Sam

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