Nothing

It isn’t the time. It isn’t the level. It isn’t the empty space. I’ve realized, finally, the measure of the breaking of a heart is proportional to the amount of silence you suffer through. That crushes even the matters of time and loss. Depth. Level. And that’s the correlation. The stillness supercedes all else as the cause for any pain. Ever. Nothing regenerates in a vacuum. Nothing repairs. It sits. Until it dissolves into something less noticeable. Less intrusive. That is the best outcome to hope for. And you look ahead to that. Patience. There is no way to categorize something such as this. Patience. 

Continue reading “Nothing”

Advertisements

“Go Time”

We are a fairly strange species here. Our thoughts and experiences cycle. Like the rest. It all comes back around eventually. And the shade of it will be completely different…when you’re seeing it for the second time. If you do. Still part of me…but, oh how the relevancy has changed. Do I hate the word Bittersweet yet?

…On the contrary. And I’m still not ashamed. To this day.  Continue reading ““Go Time””

Out of These Acts of Chaos Comes Order

I enjoy looking at all these things that have changed. In me. It’s not always pretty, the passage of time. But, it’s time nonetheless. We are never given enough of it. There is a lot to be said for living in your Now. But it’s also a giant heap of bullshit that you should never look back, or forward.

I don’t believe these lives to be adventures. I don’t believe them to be games or dances. Or any other silly suggestions. Certainly, we are only on a journey through. Traveling along to pinpoints on the map….but that’s not what this is, destinations and end games. Payoffs, rewards, successes. Heartbreak, grief and failure. Parenting. Needing. Providing. Wanting. All the parts of us. And where we actually become our own set of experiences. Which may be it’s own end game.

There are places that we go to retreat into what feels good. When it’s needed. We feel good. We give. We listen. All this talk of savage beasts and soothing…it’s only by heart. Ones that can touch or be touched. To either scar or heal. It’s all necessary. But, what do we do with the experience.

The distinction to me, is collecting these bits. Weathering storms. Learning. Finding inspiration. Creating and Loving. Just because you got on the plane doesn’t mean you took a journey. What did you see? What did you collect? What did you learn?

What did you experience?

I’ve said before and have grown comfortable with the fact that I’m no earthshaker. I’m content. I know my strengths, purpose, value and comforts. Perhaps nothing is normal. But we make it normal. That is a pinpoint on the map. That Now.

We tend to let these things speak for us. The good gives us confidence. Happiness. Positivity. The bad makes us hesitant. Scared. Mean. Negative. That’s where our words come from. That’s what precedes us. The Good. The Bad. Whatever it is. That’s where we’re coming from. That Past.

Our world, through our own eyes, tends to take on the form of the situations and people who have hurt us the most. It’s much harder to see the world in a frame of the things and people who have made us better. But time reinforces. I have faith in time. For all things. That Future.

This is my every day. Where I’ve settled. A constant processor. Of all that is said and done. Or seen. All that’s required and necessary. All that’s out of need or indulgent want. All that’s hurtful and all that brings me happiness. Everything. I sift through every bit of who I am every day. And everything there by cross contact…

…Friendships. Romances. Meeting of the Minds. Attachments. A new hope and a new place is a light. New room for heart and connection. Right now. We all meet on the map. We start new. Every time. Every day.

That’s the Now made of all things Past and Future. That is the experience.

Sam

Where do we find ourselves…

Dream delivers us to dream, and there is no end to illusion. Life is a train of moods like a string of beads, and as we pass through them they prove to be many-colored lenses which paint the world their own hue, and each shows only what lies in its focus.

“Experience”Ralph Waldo Emerson

Clearing the Path

There are times I’m introspective. Quiet. Fairly balancing out others opinions. Able to see and feel both sides. Benefit of the doubt. With love, kindness and forgiveness. And my mind churning with new ideas and vibrancy. All is well. And this is where I usually stay. A Live and Let Live…if you will. Continue reading “Clearing the Path”

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: