A Day in the Life, and Not on the List

I went to drop my youngest off at gymnastics camp this morning. And her name was nowhere on the list. I can’t know who else was missing, but in 40 names, hers was not there. The kids already present were screaming, bouncing off the walls in a small enclosed area, and climbing windowsills, while a few male high school aged counselors stood by and advised them against their antics while everyone else found their place. Continue reading “A Day in the Life, and Not on the List”

Despite the Best Laid Plans

The people I’ve kept close for years, they aren’t just friends. They aren’t just family. Not simply people in my life, or people I know transiently. The ones I’ve kept close to me are my strongholds. They’re my protection. My encouragement. My confidence. My buffer between me and my fears in the world around me. My comfort. And that’s exactly what I give back. Because I know what they mean to me.

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A Gentle Restructuring

In all these seasons passing in front of me, through these last years, I’m seeing each one is colored differently. The shades and darkness, or rare brilliance, are distinct in each. How I meet and accept myself varies in each of these seasons. What I project changes. What I need. The feel of each is unique. And I find each one tainted with something or someone different.

My ability and willingness to be open changes with each hit. When those winds change, I’ve either retreated to wait it out, or come out ready to weather the fucking hurricane head on. Just when I think I’m going to make it back safe, I get washed over the rails. Seems I always go back for more. The shell shocked adventurer.

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