I’m going to go out on a limb today, because, although I feel I haven’t got a whole lot else to lose or sacrifice, I’m going to take the opportunity to also say how grateful I actually am for that at this point in my life. So…we’re going to put this in a positive light, instead.
Sometimes risks pay off. And sometimes they end up being the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Sometimes they pay off for a bit before they fucking kill you. They make you feel damn good for a while. As long as you’re actin’ right. And sometimes shit just ain’t fair. End of story.
I’ve still got one hell of a sour taste in my mouth. It always leaves me feeling like I’ve got a lot of negative shit to spit out when it comes down to it. And I will. It will come out eventually. In bits. It has to. Right now it deserves absolutely no notice from me. None. Rest up, Bullshit. You’ve got the day off.
I had a moment last night, in complete silence. Soothed. Calm. Some clarity. Momentarily empty of ghosts. Looking at myself from the outside, I could feel the rest and relief through every part of me. I took that time and chose to ask myself a couple questions.