This sure is a tough thing we’ve all been left to try and figure out. Life, it does take hold. Continue reading “‘Love Calls’”
If I can look at it objectively, which sometimes I’m able. I realize that for every harsh preacher I’ve found who walks away from their own bullshit, I’ve found someone who was soft and gentle. Not just someone I thought possessed those qualities.
I thought today about the time I asked you what your favorite flowers were. I was so excited. And I remembered how I felt when I knew I couldn’t send them to you. Not then. Because I couldn’t ask your address. I didn’t want even the smallest of reason for you to be uncomfortable with me. Ever. I laughed a little at the irony of that in particular. Not a lot. Just a little.
When these changes in me stop, I’m not sure. Why the changes. Why it all happened. I already know. And it all brings me here. Right where I am. Today.
I’ve been told, ad nauseam, that I’m too sensitive…and you’re God damn right. But it’s not just an opinion. It’s a fact. To everything around me, and everyone. Every noise and every feeling. It’s not a surprise. And now, with the ‘help’ of some…we’ll call them interested counselors and psychiatrists, I’m at least partially wise to the term HSP, much to my extreme aggravation and embarrassment. But it’s become comforting the more I consider it being a thing. And not just tripe. Two and two together as it were.
Ever taken a walk, or a bike ride with earbuds crammed deep in your ears…before any music or speaking comes on. All other sound is deadened. Muffled. You’re woken up to the sound of your heartbeat. Your own breathing. The pattern of your walking. The vibration and feel of the earth under your feet or tires. You feel the movement through your whole body. From the ground up. You’re heightened to oncoming cars or any other dangers you might be missing while your ears are blocked.